This is gonna be somewhat sappy but hey, a blog is to pen down my inner most feelings, ain't it?
I seem rather unhappy on the inside lately.
Everything else on the superficial seems just fairly superficial.
Maybe Im losing the meaning to life.
Or maybe I really need a much deserved holiday to pamper myself.

Maybe Im just disatisfied that Im spending my much deserved long weekend typically rotting at home - ALONE, when I could have spent it elsewhere enjoying life.

He was very free during the past 2 weeks, typically just bumming around, getting ready to start a new work environment come May.
So I asked him to organise sth, like plan for a short get-away trip or cruise or anything along that line, for the long weekends.
Cos I knew I was so looking forward to that well-deserved get-away.
I spoon-fed him with ideas to get some light.
But...
When the long weekend arrived, nth was planned.
Okay, fine.
I'vegotnothingtosay.

I feel that I must always be the initiator in the planning.
Perhaps im just sick of planning already.
When I suggest doing sth impromptu, I get a drenched blanket thrown over me.

I guess the root cause of this problem with myself is Dependency.
I once heard "Dependency is slavery by mutual agreement"
I always reserve all my weekends for him so much so that once he's unable to spend his weekends with me, I'd be left cast away.
So now, Imma just plan things for myself first, and whatever that comes after that, will be played by ear.
If no one knows how to please me, Im just gonna have to do it myself.
Well, at least ive learnt that that's how life works.

Each time that song plays in the background, I sink through. Each time I watch a similar scene, it pierces through. The appearance is all a facade. The trust is gone forever. I'm like a novel without words. I dont want others to read me. Because no one completes me.

This is gonna be somewhat sappy but hey, a blog is to pen down my inner most feelings, ain't it?
I seem rather unhappy on the inside lately.
Everything else on the superficial seems just fairly superficial.
Maybe Im losing the meaning to life.
Or maybe I really need a much deserved holiday to pamper myself.

Maybe Im just disatisfied that Im spending my much deserved long weekend typically rotting at home - ALONE, when I could have spent it elsewhere enjoying life.

He was very free during the past 2 weeks, typically just bumming around, getting ready to start a new work environment come May.
So I asked him to organise sth, like plan for a short get-away trip or cruise or anything along that line, for the long weekends.
Cos I knew I was so looking forward to that well-deserved get-away.
I spoon-fed him with ideas to get some light.
But...
When the long weekend arrived, nth was planned.
Okay, fine.
I'vegotnothingtosay.

I feel that I must always be the initiator in the planning.
Perhaps im just sick of planning already.
When I suggest doing sth impromptu, I get a drenched blanket thrown over me.

I guess the root cause of this problem with myself is Dependency.
I once heard "Dependency is slavery by mutual agreement"
I always reserve all my weekends for him so much so that once he's unable to spend his weekends with me, I'd be left cast away.
So now, Imma just plan things for myself first, and whatever that comes after that, will be played by ear.
If no one knows how to please me, Im just gonna have to do it myself.
Well, at least ive learnt that that's how life works.

Each time that song plays in the background, I sink through. Each time I watch a similar scene, it pierces through. The appearance is all a facade. The trust is gone forever. I'm like a novel without words. I dont want others to read me. Because no one completes me.

I am the pastel that paints your world
Boldness is my daringness
Italic is how my imagination drifts
Underline ... go figure it out


Jernice Wong Hui Qing;
TINKERBELL
23rd Aug 1987
Virgo

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